brothers and my cousin – in the mint green cotton ball jar
for a top secret meeting.
Our plan? A covert mission to pair up and go throughout
the play place, discussing the importance of obeying
the posted rules. The goal was not for us to hear each
other, but for the others in the play place to overhear our
conversations, be convinced about the error of their ways,
and return to calm, respectful, law-abiding children.
With our lines rehearsed and ready, we left the cotton
ball jar and began our mission. Unfortunately, the other
children in the play place were not receptive to our
message. Moreover, a few minutes into our mission, I
witnessed the appalling sight of a mother helping her
child onto the tall doctor bag and applauding his ability
to climb and walk across the top of it!
I had had enough. Disappointed and disgusted with the
current state of child rearing, I decided to abandon the
mission. We returned to playing and soon left the mall for
the greener pastures of my aunt’s house, where chocolate
chip cookies awaited us.
SOCIALIZED DIFFERENTLY
I fully realize that my nine-year-old self in this story is
not a normal socialized child. But neither was I an un-
socialized child. I was simply socialized differently than
most children.
Socialization should simply be concerned with
functioning politely and respectfully within large groups
of people or within the larger society. However, many
mistakenly see socialization as the ability to follow
society’s accepted way of behavior. One’s social skills in
this sense allow him to fit in with the group around him,
making no change to the norms and sticking to the status
quo. At the same time that so many people are concerned
with the socialization of the homeschooler, they are also
concerned with peer pressure that leads many children,
especially those in the public school setting, to make
irresponsible choices.
Can we not see the direct relationship that exists between
the need to be “socialized” according to society’s dictates
and the compulsion to succumb to peer pressure?
PEER PRESSURE?
So, you see, if by “socialized” one means following the
crowd and giving in to peer pressure, then no, I was not
socialized. If by “socialized” one means loud, outgoing,
and able to dominate any and every conversation, then
no, I was not socialized. But neither did homeschooling
make me awkward, shy, backward, or uncomfortable in
large groups of people.
Thanks to homeschooling, I was comfortable speaking
when spoken to, could carry on a polite conversation,
and could both listen to and converse with individuals
of varying ages. Moreover, by virtue of my lifestyle, I was
completely accustomed to going against the norm and
doing what was right in spite of the people around me.
Being comfortable in large groups of people as well
as being used to standing up for what was right, why
wouldn’t I begin a mission to reclaim the play place in the
name of order and decency?
Now, of course, not every child that attends a public
school is destined to be a rambunctious heathen climbing
on plastic, oversized medical equipment. But neither are
homeschoolers destined to a life of social awkwardness.
I was blessed with a wonderful childhood and
homeschooling education that has given me the ability,
not to conform to society, but to blaze my own trail and
make a difference in my own way. Although my methods
have been refined (and I no longer lecture random
children on play-place etiquette, though the temptation
is still there), the courage and tenacity to stand up for my
values in spite of social pressure is still with me.
This courage is infinitely more valuable than any
irrelevant social skill I could have learned. As I enter
adulthood and encounter more important issues beyond
the confines of a shopping mall play place, I am grateful
to my homeschooling parents who were willing to put up
with hearing that “S” word over and over in order to give
me that courage and tenacity that will stay with me my
entire life.
Laura Whitehead is a 2010 graduate of Seton Home Study
School and a 2014 graduate of Southern Illinois University-
Edwardsville. From Flora, Illinois, she is working toward a
Master’s Degree in Catholic Theology through Christendom
College’s online programs. As the Respect Life Coordinator
for St. Stephen Catholic Church, she has begun a pro-life
program that will work to build a culture of life through
various programs, including providing material resources for
needy babies and their families.
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BAYLEY BULLETIN, DEC 2016-FEB 2017
